If you have found ways of ignoring feelings—and we all do this—then a likely consequence is that, to some extent, you have numbed yourself. You see, you are not able to selectively make yourself unaware of only negative feelings! When you depress or push down your anger, or unconsciously engage in shallow breathing to numb yourself not to notice sadness, you are numbing yourself to all feelings, even the good ones.
If you try to not notice through dissociation—the process of distracting yourself from the moment—or by any other means, this does not just take place in your head. Your entire body needs to collude in this masquerade. And what your body typically does is clamp down, tighten or otherwise constrict, in order to hold in the feeling. This process was referred to as “armoring” by Wilhelm Reich, a brilliant psychiatrist writing in the middle of the 20th century. He, Alexander Lowen, and other “body psychologists” referred to what happens physically when you ignore your feelings. The result is that your body loses some of its ability to fully function, to flow, to fully feel, including
the ability to fully feel joy.
How do you cope with this loss of aliveness? Or, perhaps it’s better said, how do you compensate
for this loss of awareness and loss of feeling? A convenient way is to trigger the stress
response and send adrenaline coursing through the body to wake up and feel alive is to
think of something that’s going to happen in the future imagine a positive experience and a positive outcome. As you do this, notice the difference in how you feel. This positive approach and positive attitude foster heart rate coherence. This facilitates the optimal functioning of your body. This positive approach produces what I call positive magnetic attraction.
Dr. Stephen Sideroff is an internationally recognized expert in resilience, optimal performance, addiction, neurofeedback and alternative approaches to stress and mental health. He is Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry & Biobehavioral Sciences at UCLA’s School of Medicine, as well as the Director of the Raoul Wallenberg Institute of Ethics. www.drstephensideroff.com
