Rebooting Your Ability to Adapt and Feel a Sense of Grace in Life
After one of my seminars, someone from the audience asked the question, “Doc, I’ve been loving your work and messages and they are all helpful, but it’s a constant struggle to manage my stress and stay in balance. It seems such hard work. Does it ever get easier”. I thanked him very much for that question, because I knew that many in the audience were wondering the same thing. And I can recall during my own journey, the times that I pondered, will this ever get easier? “The good news, I said – based on my own experience and working with thousands of clients and workshop participants – is that the answer is “yes”, it does get easier. You can make it up the hill you’re climbing, and get to a place where, to make further progress, it will feel like you are now going downhill. In my own work, I’ve discovered that there are four ingredients: keys to achieving this transition. They help you reboot your ability to adapt, which was lost in childhood.
1. Know how to get onto “the path”
It’s good to know as much as possible about the territory of life. But the first of my keys is knowing the optimal way of navigating through the territory. Fortunately, this is within your reach. It is “The Path” of transformation defined by my nine pillars of resilience and success. They include: relationship with yourself, relationship with others, relationship with something greater – spirituality, purpose and meaning in your life – physical balance and mastery, mental balance and mastery, emotional balance and mastery, presence, flexibility and lastly, power, which I define as the ability to get things done. When you are following these pillars, it puts you on The Path: the best way to navigate the complexities of the territory of life. Furthermore, knowing these nine pillars helps you take steps to get back onto The Path when you inevitably fall off. And knowing what it takes to be on The Path, gives you a sense of confidence that you are going in the right direction. article continues after advertisement RomoloTavani/IStock TransformationSource: RomoloTavani/IStock
2. Be accepting of yourself
The second key is to be accepting of where you are at, in this moment, rather than fretting about where you are not. You can only be in one place at a time. You can’t be anywhere else – mentally, physically or emotionally. So if you feel you should be further along than you are – you are unconsciously saying there is something wrong with where you are at. And by inference, there is something wrong with you. A very undermining perspective. Small shifts in perspective can have a big impact. The fastest way to get where you want to go is to begin by accepting where you are at – right now. Since you can’t be anywhere else, you might as well find ways of appreciating yourself, here at this moment. In my own growth process, I have found judgments create negativity and resistance to engagement and trying new behaviors or paths. Judgments are your enemy. Acceptance gives you psychological space – space with no judgments – for optimal learning and adaptation. Appreciate your efforts that got you to this point. Now you are contributing to a solid foundation under your feet. Acceptance puts you in “The Flow” where the universal quantum field will support your positive growth and success.
3. A mindset of engagement
The third key is your mindset, attitude and approach to life – and your best 2024. You want to embrace a growth mindset in which the challenge of becoming more resilient moves you forward, instead of shrinking from, or doing it reluctantly. Embrace the process with the attitude that by taking these challenges, you are producing positive growth and even transformation. Move toward life, not shrink from it. ra2studio/IStock Pull the CurtainSource: ra2studio/IStock
4. Shift from being grounded in the lessons of childhood, to an openness to learning based on the nine pillars.
And finally, what clinches the process of greater ease in your life, and for 2024, is finding a new place to ground yourself. We grow up grounding ourselves in the messages of childhood and the lessons from our small family environment and community. Unfortunately, this freezes your ability to adapt to new life challenges. Childhood conditioning acts as an anchor, holding you to the past. Your ability to adapt to new situations needs a reboot. When you are open to challenging these old beliefs, and begin grounding yourself, and treating yourself – as I say, in my first pillar of resilience, from the perspective of a healthy internal parent or voice, coming from a place of love, compassion, acceptance, support, self-care and joy, your life will become easier and more resilient. Most importantly, it will reboot your ability to adapt, the hallmark of resilience. Hold the intention to follow these four keys Try beginning your new year following these four keys to resilience and success. Follow the nine pillars of resilience that will put you on The Path. Start each day from a place of gratitude, appreciation, enthusiasm and self-acceptance. Embrace the day’s challenges, and be open to new approaches. We have two choices in life. To come from the heart, or come from protecting the heart. Open to the former and let it be your guide. Hold these intentions at the start of each day. Take this challenge, remember it each day, and notice how well it serves you. Look for more of my keys to a healthy and successful 2024 in the coming weeks.